Those Rascal Feelings &  Values
  • OVERVIEW: FRF
    • FRF: CHPT ONE
  • OVERVIEW: CLINICAL
    • TOC 1-12 >
      • CHPT 1 Welcome To Many From Many >
        • CHPT 1 Vault
      • CHPT 2 Aunt Sarah Shares >
        • CHPT 2 VAULT
      • CHPT 3 Lessons for Lisa >
        • Vault 3 Lessons for Lisa
      • CHPT 4 An Angry World >
        • Vault Four: Angry World
      • CHPT 5 Damn & Hot Damn >
        • Vault 5 Damn & Hot Damn
      • CHPT 6 Brain Bishop & Being >
        • Vault 6 The Bishop, The Brain & Being
      • CHPT 7 Little Steps >
        • Vault 7 Little Steps Go a Long Ways
      • CHPT 8 Conflict Moves You >
        • Vault 8. Conflict Moves; Conflicts Are.
      • CHPT 9 Valuing Values >
        • VAULT 9 Valuing Values
      • CHPT 10 John Deere Caper >
        • VAULT 10 John Deere Family Snafu
      • CHPT 11 Nothing is Here. >
        • VAULT # 11 Nothing is here.
      • CHPT 1 2 Antithesis for Nothing >
        • VAULT 12: Anathesisis for Nothing
    • TOC 13-25 >
      • Chpt 13: Choc. Chip Caper >
        • Vault 13 The Chocolate Chip Cookie Caper
      • Chpt 14: Couples / Pairs >
        • Vault 14 Couples Come in Pairs
      • CHPT 15 Plus & More >
        • Vault 15 Strengths in Action
      • Chpt: 16: Action Truisms >
        • Vault 16 Raportee With Nadi: Truisms in Action
      • Chapter 17 We all Hurt >
        • Vault 17 We all Hurt
      • CHPT 18 Parents Lead, + >
        • VAULT 18 PARENTS LEAD
      • CHPT 19 YOUR BRAIN KNOWS >
        • VAULT 19 YOUR BRAIN KNOWS
      • CHPT 20 Out & In: >
        • VAULT 20 Out & In:
      • CHPT 21 Where is Papa? >
        • VAULT 21 Where is Papa?
      • CHPT 22 Who Knows Bill? >
        • VAULT 22 Who Knows Bill?
      • Chpt: 23: Millenials >
        • Vault 23: Millential-Baby Boomers Clash
      • CHPT 24 Ending / Beginnings >
        • Vault 24 Endings/Beginnings
      • CHPT 25. Q's & A's >
        • Q & A Overview One
        • Q & A Overview Two
        • Q & A Overview Feelings
        • Q & A Overview Values
        • Q & A Overview Relationships
        • Q & A Overview Politics
        • Q & A Overview Parenting
        • Q & A's Reading Lists
      • FOR POTENTIAL EDITOR/READERS
      • Getting Outside Help


Vault Two:
Chapter Two:
Aunt Sarah Shares

The Vault contains a variety of written, audio, and video materials related to each chapter. Articles, book lists, YouTube Videos, and more will be available for you here.

To view any video full-screen, click on the "full-screen icon"found in the lower right hand corner of each video. Click "Esc." on the keyboard to come back to regular screen size.
​

Each chapter's Vault Section will have a special focus. Check back every so often as each chapter is written, materials will be added.


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The Secrets of Counselors

When  we share a feeling, or and issue or an opinion with a friend, spouse or family member, seldom do they respond directly to what you share. often they have only been half-listening or planning what they are going to say when you finish. Often they employ "negative scorekeeping and focus on some negative attribute, statement, behavior or feeling. Sometimes they jump to the giving of advise, often their favorite solution.

None of the above are good responses and do not meet the needs behind the statements. A good alternative is active listening and empathic listening.  

Doing active listening which basically involves sharing back to the person speaking what they are saying. Shared may be the main points made, or it may be the feelings directly stated or feelings indirectly stated, and/or the values being acted upon or displayed.

When one hears an emotion or value from another, you can always do one of two responses. Both are appropriate. The first is called having identification or sympathy. It means that you share the same emotion that is being expressed. One way to do this is after your summarization, you can share a story about yourself where you felt the same way.

Another approach is to respond from an "empathic" position. Here you do not share the same emotion but can understand it from another's viewpoint. One mich say: "I am hearing that being around your cousin is very painful.

Listed below are four YouTube videos demonstrating active

listening and an empathetic responding approach
.
​
These videos are known as "classics"in counseling fields.

To Go Back to Chapter Two: "Aunt Sarah Shares",
​Click on Bearley Bear and he will take you right there.

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  • OVERVIEW: FRF
    • FRF: CHPT ONE
  • OVERVIEW: CLINICAL
    • TOC 1-12 >
      • CHPT 1 Welcome To Many From Many >
        • CHPT 1 Vault
      • CHPT 2 Aunt Sarah Shares >
        • CHPT 2 VAULT
      • CHPT 3 Lessons for Lisa >
        • Vault 3 Lessons for Lisa
      • CHPT 4 An Angry World >
        • Vault Four: Angry World
      • CHPT 5 Damn & Hot Damn >
        • Vault 5 Damn & Hot Damn
      • CHPT 6 Brain Bishop & Being >
        • Vault 6 The Bishop, The Brain & Being
      • CHPT 7 Little Steps >
        • Vault 7 Little Steps Go a Long Ways
      • CHPT 8 Conflict Moves You >
        • Vault 8. Conflict Moves; Conflicts Are.
      • CHPT 9 Valuing Values >
        • VAULT 9 Valuing Values
      • CHPT 10 John Deere Caper >
        • VAULT 10 John Deere Family Snafu
      • CHPT 11 Nothing is Here. >
        • VAULT # 11 Nothing is here.
      • CHPT 1 2 Antithesis for Nothing >
        • VAULT 12: Anathesisis for Nothing
    • TOC 13-25 >
      • Chpt 13: Choc. Chip Caper >
        • Vault 13 The Chocolate Chip Cookie Caper
      • Chpt 14: Couples / Pairs >
        • Vault 14 Couples Come in Pairs
      • CHPT 15 Plus & More >
        • Vault 15 Strengths in Action
      • Chpt: 16: Action Truisms >
        • Vault 16 Raportee With Nadi: Truisms in Action
      • Chapter 17 We all Hurt >
        • Vault 17 We all Hurt
      • CHPT 18 Parents Lead, + >
        • VAULT 18 PARENTS LEAD
      • CHPT 19 YOUR BRAIN KNOWS >
        • VAULT 19 YOUR BRAIN KNOWS
      • CHPT 20 Out & In: >
        • VAULT 20 Out & In:
      • CHPT 21 Where is Papa? >
        • VAULT 21 Where is Papa?
      • CHPT 22 Who Knows Bill? >
        • VAULT 22 Who Knows Bill?
      • Chpt: 23: Millenials >
        • Vault 23: Millential-Baby Boomers Clash
      • CHPT 24 Ending / Beginnings >
        • Vault 24 Endings/Beginnings
      • CHPT 25. Q's & A's >
        • Q & A Overview One
        • Q & A Overview Two
        • Q & A Overview Feelings
        • Q & A Overview Values
        • Q & A Overview Relationships
        • Q & A Overview Politics
        • Q & A Overview Parenting
        • Q & A's Reading Lists
      • FOR POTENTIAL EDITOR/READERS
      • Getting Outside Help