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Some Popular Definitions Of Chapter Content
Chapter One
Emotions.
In looking at the difference between ‘emotions’ and ‘feelings’, emotions are the most basic. When something new and basic happens to an object in your life or a part of your physiological or psychology body, you are having an emotion. "I feel hot, cool, tired, excited"---these are all statements about emotions. Your sense of life is an emotional form, in which your world experience finds value and defines your relationship with other things that exist.
Feelings come from emotions as a secondary reaction to something. They are the expression of a cumulative effect of a feeling. e.g. when I am scared three of four times every time I hear a certain noise and I discover that when I walk down a specific road by a stream, I will hear that noise and then I develop a negative feeling about that situation.[1] Emotions come and go very quickly; feeling have much more of a life to them and evoke many memories. To the average person, it doesn’t matter which term is used. Most counselors agree.
Expression of a feeling.
The direct expression of a feeling is a health, normal human process to follow. When done correctly and timely with a negative feeling, that feeling has thus been discharged and no longer exists. However ever if what one does is to talk about a feeling---intellectualize---then there is little or no discharge and the feeling remains. Listen to the different between these expressions: (1) “I am so angry at you right now, you stink!” (2) I am feeling quite angry at you now for wrecking my snowman; that was not a nice thing you did. Which one is the one where feelings are really expressed versus thinking about the feeling and the event around it?
Go with the flow.
A practice wisdom term that means that a person feeling will not try and direct a situation but will go along with whatever is happening in an experiencing and exploratory way. One important use of this tactic is when you are experiencing, there is no battle for control.
Offended.
Americans need to listen very carefully to themselves when one says, “I am offended that you said what you did.” Notice, this communication begins with an “I” statement, thus identifying the person owning the negative reaction, an offense. However, most people think it to be differently---that someone else has control at the moment I feel and does something to me. They are totally incorrect. Being offended is a situation when your internal values come into play and you yourself actually have you feel bad. ‘Shame on you for blaming the other guy!’
Psychological domains.
One of the most accepted models to guide awareness and analysis of a mental situation. One is to be able to evaluate whether a thinking (cognitive), an affective (emotion or valuing process) or a behavioral action just occurred. Secondly, within each domain, certain characteristics are given to determine an hierarchal order of the process of each. Thus, there is a huge difference between memorizing something and that is it and actually being able to go two steps higher in the order of complexity and use that thought in an actions. Bloom’s Taxonomies of Learning Domains actually is several taxonomies and looks at cognitive thinking and then affective reactions. Counselors typically use this model very frequently although it has several flaws. Several revisions of Bloom’s model have been offered but the flaws still exist.
Storing up of feelings.
If a feeling is not discharged, it will be stored internally in your brain indefinitely until it can be expressed. Little feelings thus grow into big piles and often slip out at the most unexpected times. It goes against nature’s psychological rules to store up feelings, especially negative ones like anger. The neurosciences are now showing how the brain reacts to these patterns and builds structures on their basis.
Valuing.
This is a verb that stems from the noun of ‘value’, something of worth or non-worth to you. When one is valuing, they are taking action based on a preference or belief. Most people do not know the difference between thinking or valuing and thus mistake a lot of behavior that they think is logical when it is value driven. When done correctly, our valuing process guides us to good conclusions as it saves an extensive testing and thinking process. Unfortunately, when used incorrectly, it greatly hinders relationship and much that is good. Poor valuing is a huge social problem that is underpinning too many social problems in the 21th Century
[1] See Potter-Efron, Ronald. (2012). Healing the Angry Brain: Understanding the Way Your Brain Works Can Help you Control Anger and Aggression. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
In looking at the difference between ‘emotions’ and ‘feelings’, emotions are the most basic. When something new and basic happens to an object in your life or a part of your physiological or psychology body, you are having an emotion. "I feel hot, cool, tired, excited"---these are all statements about emotions. Your sense of life is an emotional form, in which your world experience finds value and defines your relationship with other things that exist.
Feelings come from emotions as a secondary reaction to something. They are the expression of a cumulative effect of a feeling. e.g. when I am scared three of four times every time I hear a certain noise and I discover that when I walk down a specific road by a stream, I will hear that noise and then I develop a negative feeling about that situation.[1] Emotions come and go very quickly; feeling have much more of a life to them and evoke many memories. To the average person, it doesn’t matter which term is used. Most counselors agree.
Expression of a feeling.
The direct expression of a feeling is a health, normal human process to follow. When done correctly and timely with a negative feeling, that feeling has thus been discharged and no longer exists. However ever if what one does is to talk about a feeling---intellectualize---then there is little or no discharge and the feeling remains. Listen to the different between these expressions: (1) “I am so angry at you right now, you stink!” (2) I am feeling quite angry at you now for wrecking my snowman; that was not a nice thing you did. Which one is the one where feelings are really expressed versus thinking about the feeling and the event around it?
Go with the flow.
A practice wisdom term that means that a person feeling will not try and direct a situation but will go along with whatever is happening in an experiencing and exploratory way. One important use of this tactic is when you are experiencing, there is no battle for control.
Offended.
Americans need to listen very carefully to themselves when one says, “I am offended that you said what you did.” Notice, this communication begins with an “I” statement, thus identifying the person owning the negative reaction, an offense. However, most people think it to be differently---that someone else has control at the moment I feel and does something to me. They are totally incorrect. Being offended is a situation when your internal values come into play and you yourself actually have you feel bad. ‘Shame on you for blaming the other guy!’
Psychological domains.
One of the most accepted models to guide awareness and analysis of a mental situation. One is to be able to evaluate whether a thinking (cognitive), an affective (emotion or valuing process) or a behavioral action just occurred. Secondly, within each domain, certain characteristics are given to determine an hierarchal order of the process of each. Thus, there is a huge difference between memorizing something and that is it and actually being able to go two steps higher in the order of complexity and use that thought in an actions. Bloom’s Taxonomies of Learning Domains actually is several taxonomies and looks at cognitive thinking and then affective reactions. Counselors typically use this model very frequently although it has several flaws. Several revisions of Bloom’s model have been offered but the flaws still exist.
Storing up of feelings.
If a feeling is not discharged, it will be stored internally in your brain indefinitely until it can be expressed. Little feelings thus grow into big piles and often slip out at the most unexpected times. It goes against nature’s psychological rules to store up feelings, especially negative ones like anger. The neurosciences are now showing how the brain reacts to these patterns and builds structures on their basis.
Valuing.
This is a verb that stems from the noun of ‘value’, something of worth or non-worth to you. When one is valuing, they are taking action based on a preference or belief. Most people do not know the difference between thinking or valuing and thus mistake a lot of behavior that they think is logical when it is value driven. When done correctly, our valuing process guides us to good conclusions as it saves an extensive testing and thinking process. Unfortunately, when used incorrectly, it greatly hinders relationship and much that is good. Poor valuing is a huge social problem that is underpinning too many social problems in the 21th Century
[1] See Potter-Efron, Ronald. (2012). Healing the Angry Brain: Understanding the Way Your Brain Works Can Help you Control Anger and Aggression. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
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